Well, the saying goes, “Men lie, women lie, numbers don’t”, probably the most accurate statement to date. But, knowing that we all lie, how do you still build trust and remain positive about future relationships? To be honest, it is hard to build trusting relationships but it is possible. It will take time, patience and the ability to be vulnerable in order to have meaningful relationships, if you want those types of relationships it will be worth it. There are a few steps you can follow to build trust in any relationship.
Building trust in a relationship is hard because we don’t trust ourselves. I’m a firm believer that your intuition is your internal lie detector test. Allowing yourself to take risk and go with your gut feeling, this will build instinctive confidence. We begin to ignore our intuition because of the choices we may have worked in our favor. Every choice you make may not workout for the best but that does not mean you made the wrong choice. Blaming yourself entirely for a choice that did not work in your favor is similar to taking a test, learn from your mistakes.
Allow people to enough your trust. Take whatever someone tells you with a grain of salt until they can prove it. Continue to keep this frame of mind throughout a romantic relationship, to keep your partner working to gain your trust. The challenge will be consistent once their word is proven with actions. Why should someone prove themselves? Because they should want to leave you with little to zero doubt. Of course, not everything a person does should be questioned, just those that leave you unsure.
Learn the difference between trust and honest. Do you trust your partner? Is your partner honest? Trusting someone can be different from someone being honest. Lending someone your car or telling your most deepest secrets are examples of trust. However, when you asked your partner is always honest. If you both trust your partner and if your partner is honest that can be a win/win. Having an honest partner can still be hurtful because their sensitivity to your feelings may not always be present or reliable. The benefit of having an honest partner would be knowing that they will always tell you the truth even if it may hurt you. A trusting partner is one that is dependable but could lie to protect you. Finding a balance of trust and honest not come easy but it will come with time.
Cut off pathological liars. A pathological liar is a person who tells lies frequently, with no rational motive for doing so (dictionary.com). Identifying these people and eliminate them. Pathological liars can lead you to a destination where you are not hoping to go. These liars will manipulate the relationship to keep you there and potentially unhappy and unfulfilled.
Above all, COMMUNICATE! Knowing what you want may change throughout a relationship but communicating that to your partner is most important. Lack of communication can lead to something you never wanted and can last longer than you intended. Expressing to your partner clearly and regularly will resolute in achieving the results you both would like too see.
Of course, these steps will not guarantee a successful relationship. However, these steps may assist you in getting what you want out of any relationship without wasting too much time deciding if they are the right one. Time is valuable as you date and wasting too much time on someone who you can not openly trust or with someone that is not being honest.